A simple diary to track the shape of your days.

I arrived at Dunder Mifflin at 7:12 a.m., which is early by Scranton standards and therefore a tactical advantage. I performed a full perimeter check of the parking lot. No threats detected, except Kevin eating a breakfast sandwich in his car. Noted.

Michael attempted to run a “motivational meeting.” I corrected him three times. Once about the definition of motivation, once about the proper use of a whiteboard marker, and once about the history of paper in feudal Europe. He thanked me by telling me to “lighten up.” I did not.

Sales were adequate. I closed one deal by maintaining unbroken eye contact for four minutes. The client blinked first. This confirms my theory that fear is an underused sales tool. Jim tried to distract me with a fake memo about mandatory desk yoga. I reported it to Toby. Nothing happened. Typical.